Baby boy #2

Words can't describe the joy I feel knowing that God has blessed us with another baby!! We couldn't be more excited. 

But can I be honest about something? When I found out, I was terrified. I instantly though of how upset my family would be. And the negative comments and feedback Matthew and I would receive by many people, family members and non family members. 

My heart filled with fear of what OTHERS would think of me. I honestly just wanted to wait to tell anyone until the baby was here. Even then, I really just wanted to hide it forever. 

I called Matthew to tell him because he was out of town. I sent him a picture of the test and I told him how happy I was. But as I sat there in the bathroom, alone, I began to cry. Fear crept into my heart and mind and I wondered how I'd have the strength to take care of three children all under the age of 3. I wondered if anyone would be happy for us. And I wondered if this was truly God's plan for us and for me. Time went by and I made a doctors appointment. 

Fast forward to November 27. We went in to have an ultra sound since I had no idea when I got pregnant. The technician put the wand on my abdomen and I saw a face. Now this is my third pregnancy and I knew that wasn't an early face. She immediately took it off and said something like you're over 12 weeks pregnant. We need to reschedule your sonogram. She went to go talk to her supervisor and me and Matthew waited. They rescheduled it for Monday. 

I went in Monday and I was by myself. We did the measurements and she estimated me to be around 20 weeks and 5 days! I couldn't believe it. Then she told me it was a boy and I was so excited!! I totally wanted another boy!

I then realized that I was on birth control in July when I got pregnant. And then I understood why I lost my milk supply while breastfeeding Elianna. And then it hit me. This baby really was sent to us by God! He gave us this baby even when I was on birth control!! 

I must say that no one in our family seems very excited for us.

But that's ok with me. I'm here to please one person only and that's Jesus. Matthew and I may not have 5 years between each child or have a bunch of money saved up in the bank. All I know is that God has a plan and His plan is good. 

No baby is a mistake or an accident. I believe 100% that He sent us this little boy. And I couldn't be more happy! 

Thank you Lord!