He's Tugging...

Matthew and I have been struggling so much with what our next step is. We keep asking and God keeps us waiting. Last night I was feeling pretty isolated so we got the babies and went for a walk on the trail behind our complex. As we walked, my head was anywhere but with my family. I kept thinking about how we won't be able to make rent. And how scared I am of what is coming next. So I asked Matthew how he was feeling about everything. And he gave me an answer that churned my stomach. "It sucks" he said. For a moment I felt like I was going to lose it. So I started to pray silently as I listened to him talk about why everything sucks. 

Then I knew in that moment that he needed me to be strong. So I encouraged him. I told him that God has a plan... Because he does! I told him that God sees the bigger picture. I told him that we are so small minded that God isn't going to lay out the big picture in front of us. We have to trust Him, step by step. No matter what anyone else thinks or says, we can't let that affect our trust in the Lord. He is faithful and holy and perfect and He works all things together for His good. 

We went to bed last night just praying for some answers. Matthew left for work like any other day and Malachi and Elianna slept until 9:30 so that was nice! 

When I woke up I checked my email. Matthew gets weekly emails from the Sparkling Gems Ministry. He said "read asap" in his forwarded email to me. So I did. 

The title said "Is The Holy Spirit 'Tugging' At Your Heart Today?"

I knew as soon as I read that sentence that God was answering my prayers.  The devotion went on to talk about what a life of faith looks like. It talked about how when we first take those steps of faith we can't see the big picture but God can. It talked about how God leads us one step at a time. 

As I read this my eyes welled up with tears. It was so comforting to know just how personal God is. He knew that we are struggling. So He sent us this devotion to encourage us and to tug at our hearts. The challenge was to listen to the tugging and pulling that the Holy Spirit is doing in your heart. 

God hears us. He listens and He is so personal. He knows what we need exactly when we need it. 

*As many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.* Romans 8:14